Ten Things Shinobi Should Never Say the First Date
by Invader Hog
Summary: The last installment is finished. Shika/Ino. List at the end.
1. ShinoTemari

**Ten Things a Shinobi Should Never Say on a First Date**

**Summary: A list of the things a shinobi should never say to the woman of his dreams on their first date.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

**Shino/Temari**

**Ten Things Never to Say on the First Date:**

1. You decided to wear _that_ on our first date?

* * *

Shino Aburame wasn't exactly an idiot, but he also wasn't exactly smart either. He was usually very serious and also very blunt in his speech. The love-struck young shinobi was standing outside of the Yamanaka Flower Shop, waiting for his date with a bouquet of white lilies in his hand and his eyes fixated on the ground in front of him.

The pattering of feet running towards him caught his attention, but he did not look up, thinking it was merely a passer-by. The young shinobi of the Sand ran up to his side, calling to him.

"Shino! Hey! I'm here!"

He looked up. The young blonde shinobi standing in front of him was smiling and posed like a superhero with her hands on her fists.

"Awe, are those for me?" she cooed, reaching out for the lilies that he handed her without thinking. He was so busy staring at her outfit that he didn't notice the bouquet removed from his hands.

"Uh… yeah…" he said, suddenly unable to speak. She always seemed to do that, make him unable to talk.

Slowly heat rose to his cheeks as he continued to stare at her outfit. It was a cute mini skirt with a white t-shirt. She looked extremely cute, mostly because her long dirty blond hair was tied back in one single long ponytail.

"So, where are we going tonight?" Temari asked him, smiling her bright smile as the sun began to slowly sink into the darkness of the surrounding trees and buildings.

"Uh…"

He couldn't stop staring at her skirt, mostly, because it was… just… so… short….

"Shino? Is something wrong?"

Shino was rather lucky he wore sunglasses even in the dark because Temari couldn't tell he was staring at her skirt. She moved closer to him, putting a hand to his forehead, helping to make the usually calm shinobi begin to sweat a little.

"Uh…" his voice sounded rather clam as she leaned closer to his face to try and look at his eyes, as his sunglasses slipped down his nose a little so their eyes met.

"You're turning all red! Are you sick?" she asked, having to standing on her tiptoes to look at him closely.

"Y-You… decided to wear _that _on our first date?"

Shino almost regretted his words the very millisecond he uttered them.

* * *

Naruto was walking quietly home, engrossed in a book before he almost tripped over a body laying in front of Ino's flower shop.

"Oi! Shino! Hey! Someone help! He's bleeding!"

* * *

**-Heh just popped into my head. The rest will probably be as short. I actually like the idea of Shino and Temari getting together, but I'm not really sure why… Oh well. Thanks for reading!**

_**Invader Hog OUT!**_


	2. SakuraLee

**Ten Things a Shinobi Should Never Say on a First Date**

**Summary: A list of the things a shinobi should never say to the woman of his dreams on their first date.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

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**Saku/Lee**

**Ten Things Never to Say on the First Date:**

2. Are you wearing a black bra?

* * *

Rock Lee was a man who stood for love, justice and the fiery burning youth of Konoha, so it was no surprise that his determination would finally earn him a date with the second most beautiful Konoha kunoichi (since Ino declared herself the most beautiful), Sakura Haruno.

The young man was waiting ever so patiently for his love to come to meet him outside of the Hokage building, where they were to meet for their romantic dinner at one of Sakura's favorite restaurants. He had been very careful to dress a lot better than he normally did, thanks to Ino Yamanaka.

"_You're going to blow her out of the water in this suit! I promise!"_

Her words still reminded Lee that he needed to make the date as perfect as possible so Sakura would fall madly in love with him, though it was most likely it wouldn't happen, but he needed to find the positive side of all his arguments!

He stood; ready to fight for his love when a voice from next to him brought him back to reality.

"Good evening, Lee," she said, so softly and sweetly that he found himself blushing and his heart pounding. Sakura had gone with a long skirt and sweater with a small shoulder bag for her outfit.

"A-A-Ah… Sakura!" he said, clutching his heart as it did a back flip in his chest at the very sight of her.

"Hello," Sakura said, smiling and waiting for him to say something else, but the green beast was so lost in his own freaking out that he was unable to say anything about how beautiful he thought she looked.

_She's so cute!_

He pounded his head against a concrete block, sending cracks into the rock and making Sakura jump at his sudden action.

"Is there something wrong?" Sakura asked, looking around to see other people staring at them.

"AGHH!"

Lee wasn't hurt, but he was so conflicted between telling Sakura that she looked beautiful when he suddenly spotted it. He stopped, blushing deeply as he stared at Sakura Haruno's right shoulder.

Her sweater had slipped a little, along with her shirt underneath. He just continued to stare as so many situations ran through his mind when suddenly he realized his mouth was hanging open and she was staring at him in disbelief.

"Lee? What's the matter? What are you staring at?" She looked over her shoulder to see many people just staring at them.

"A-Are you wearing a black bra?"

Sakura's entire face turned red as the crowd all looked shocked, since Lee seemed to have said it loud enough for everyone in the surrounding area to hear it. Sakura was never going to be able to show her face around the village ever again, but she certainly went about a great way of getting revenge. Lee was left to go home with a slap, a bruised arm, and a few broken ribs for his stupidity, and that wasn't exactly how he pictured his first date to end…

* * *

**-Another quickie…. Nothing too special but I thought would be funny if Sakura kicked the crap out of Lee… Heh I love it. Thanks for reading!**

_**Invader Hog OUT!**_


	3. SasukeIno

**Ten Things a Shinobi Should Never Say on a First Date**

**Summary: A list of the things a shinobi should say to the woman of his dreams on their first date.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

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**(A/N: Don't like the pairing to be honest, but I liked the suggestion for it so I'll go with it.)  
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**Sasuke/ Ino**

**Ten Things Never to Say on a First Date:**

3. You're going to eat all of that?

* * *

Sasuke Uchiha never really pictured himself taking out Ino Yamanaka on a first date, but he had to keep his options open. It was only for one evening and going to dinner at Ino's favorite place, mostly where she would eat until her heart was content on misou soup and talk about whatever it was that girls rattled on about. 

He stood silently outside the ramen shop that Naruto preferred, and ended up turning into a hot spot for the youth of Konoha. He looked at the sky, seeing that it was getting late and he was already annoyed. Ino Yamanaka didn't like being late, but if she was late, she wanted to look perfect, so being late this time, she showed up looking very lovely.

Wearing a golden locket, a gift from Shikamaru when they were kids, a purple spaghetti strap, and long orange and purple skirt with flowers. She smiled at Sasuke as he nodded to acknowledge her.

"Hello, I'm ready!"

She had tied her short blonde hair up in a tiny ponytail and took hold of Sasuke's arm. He made a noise, looking annoyed as they walked, side by side, towards the restaurant. Lucky for Sasuke, Ino was sighing and talking about their life together, she was just walking, enjoying the evening with him.

"Welcome, Miss Yamanaka," said the waiter at Ino's favorite place. She liked to go there often and brought everyone she knew there, just to get something to eat or drink, even Naruto and Sakura had been invited there with her many times.

"Okay, I want the number 2, 7, 4 and a side of misou soup, please," Ino said happily, handing over the menu to the waiter. Sasuke just stared at his for a moment and then looked at the waiter.

"Uh… just some noodles, thanks."

The waiter didn't say anything but gave Ino a look. For everyone that Ino invited to lunch or dinner, Sasuke was the most boring when it came to ordering. Chouji would order everything, Shikamaru would complain until Ino ordered for him, Sakura would always splurge when Ino was buying and Naruto got to be more cultured when Ino ordered for him to broaden his horizons with no ramen. Even Shino had once argued with the waiter that his food should be vast and perfect, though Ino couldn't recall actually watching Shino eat all of his food…

Temari and Ten Ten had once come to lunch with Ino and it ended up being a brawl between the three who could eat the most. But Sasuke was a little more boring than the others.

Finally, after a few sentences of small talk, Ino got her order of food. Four plates of the best and Sasuke's little bowl of nothing.

"Thank you," Ino said. She had given up dieting a long time ago. She loved food too much, and working out and training seemed to be enough to keep her slim. She began to eat, not holding back manners for Sasuke, and he just sighed, looking at all of the food.

"You're going to eat all of that?"

Ino dropped her fork and looked up, halfway through a string of noodles. If Sasuke didn't know any better, it would seem like her eyes were on fire.

* * *

Neji Hyuuga was just enjoying the evening air when suddenly something came flying by him, or more like a body. A slam and a halt drew his attention towards the figure. Sasuke Uchiha was sprawled out on the pavement, head covered in food, along with the rest of him. Neji then turned his focus to the restaurant that had flung the Uchiha prodigy out of it. Ino Yamanaka was paying a waiter and storming off in a frenzy, leaving an unconscious Uchiha behind.

* * *

-**I haven't been able to write a Naruto fic in a while and I forgot I had started this so I decided to finish the rest of my Ten Things before I began finishing my other stuff. Thanks for reading.**

**Invader Hog**


	4. NejiTenTen

**Ten Things Shinobi Should Never Say the First Date**

**Summary: A list of things a shinobi should never say to the woman of his dreams on a first date.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

**Neji/Ten Ten**

**Ten Things Never to Say on the First Date:**

4. That's not how my last girlfriend acted.

* * *

It had taken three weeks for Ten Ten to finally come on a date with the genius Neji Hyuuga. He had been bothering her for a long time to actually come with him on one and she finally gave in, saying it would be for only one time. So the location would be the small training grounds they normally trained on. There they would have a cute little picnic and talk. That's what Ten Ten thought was so appealing about it.

Neji spent all day telling his teammate, Rock Lee, that he needed the spot for the afternoon and Lee would have to find somewhere else to train for the afternoon.

Then he had to get ready, which was a chore. Hinata giggled every time he would ask her about something she thought he might look nice in. Then Naruto showed up with Shikamaru, having heard from Sakura and Ino about the date. They added pressure with their constant jokes and bullying of the poor elder ninja.

Finally it was time for him to go out to the training grounds. Ten Ten was already there, laying out the blanket for them to eat on and Neji couldn't help but notice how pretty she looked in a Chinese style dress. She sat down and they began chatting, like friends would, and Neji even ventured to ask Ten Ten if she would like to start eating. That's when things seemed different.

"Oh! I love this stuff!" Ten Ten said, opening a bowl of rice and began to eat without hesitation. If anything, she didn't eat with grace like Sakura did, or with manners like Hinata did.

"Did you want some?" Ten Ten asked, looking up from her bowl of rice. Neji hadn't meant to stare at her the way he was, but something about watching her eat made him uneasy.

"Uh, do you always eat like this?" he asked, though Ten Ten didn't seem to understand his strangeness.

"Only when I have to wait three hours after lunch to eat. You wanted it to be in the afternoon, remember. I'm starving," Ten Ten said, beginning to eat again, this time not holding anything back. She reminded Neji of Ino, and their very short time together. Neji hadn't really thought of Ino as a great girlfriend, but she was polite when it came to eating. She normally would eat like crazy but when Neji would ask her on a date during their short-lived dating period, she would always be careful in eating and never eating too much.

"That's not how my last girlfriend acted like," Neji said, though it was only in passing. Ten Ten felt her ears prick and she suddenly looked up from her bowl, staring at Neji wide eyed.

"What?"

She set her bowl down but Neji didn't seem to notice.

"She was never so barbaric," he said, but it was a wonder that Neji Hyuuga was ever really called a genius…

* * *

Naruto and Shikamaru happened to pass by the hill Neji had taken Ten Ten for their date and noticed that something was propped against the tree. Neji was covered in bruises, kunai and shuriken, pinned to the tree, his friends laughing as he wondered what exactly he had said that was so wrong…

* * *

-** Had a little help writting this one. I was out of ideas and my brother suggested this sentence I used. Sorry for all you Neji fans, he had to be beaten up, just like Sasuke and Shino. Oh, well. Gonna do Kiba next, I think, but I don't know who the girl will be... there are so few girls in Naruto... Oh well...**

** Invader Hog  
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	5. NarutoHinata

**Ten Things a Shinobi Should Never Say on the First Date**

**Summary: A list of things a shinobi should never say to the woman of his dreams on the first date.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

**Naruto/Hinata**

**Ten Things Never to Say on the First Date:**

5. Pink isn't really your color, at all.

* * *

Hinata Hyuuga couldn't stop her heart from pounding as she looked at herself in the mirror. Temari, Sakura and Ino had been in her room, going through all of her clothes to find something really cute for her to wear. Only the day before, Naruto Uzumaki came over to Hinata's house and asked to take her out on a date. Now Hinata was beginning to get nervous and blushing constantly as her friends crowded around her, making her try on tons of shirts, pants, skirts, and shoes.

"Pink! It's her color, just like purple and white are. Pink should work," Sakura said, showing a cute little pink shirt Hinata had stuffed in the back of her closet.

"Yeah, pink could work," Ino said, Temari brushing Hinata's hair with a brush as the girls continued to find a bottom and shoes in the closet.

"Where are you guys going?" Temari asked, putting a small clip on the side of Hinata's head, a little pink barrette.

"Just for dinner and a walk through the park," Hinata said, trying to stop her face from flushing. She had always dreamed that one day she might be in Naruto's favor, but now he was getting excited about taking her out on a date with him and spending time with her like a real couple.

All the girls let out an "awe" in unison and Ino sighed.

"Oh, it's so romantic… I wish I could get a guy so sweet…"

"To think Naruto could ever be so sweet like that," Sakura said, handing Hinata a shirt and a skirt, both pink.

"Come on, let's leave Hinata to worry about herself now," Temari said, the girls all-leaving loudly, giggling and talking about romance and roses. Hinata soon left after them, unsure if she looked pretty like they had constantly said she would.

She stood outside the ramen stand and many people passed by, seeming to think she looked lovely, complementing her as they passed.

"Hinata!" Naruto said, running up to her. Naruto hadn't really dressed up for the date but he did look like a normal guy.

"Wow," Naruto said, looking Hinata up and down, "Pink really isn't your color, at all."

Hinata's entire face dropped and her eyes widened. Naruto suddenly lost his grin as Hinata's eyes began to well up.

"I-I look ugly?" she stammered, beginning to cry and it seemed that out of nowhere, Neji Hyuuga was standing next to Naruto.

"UZUMAKI! What did you say to Lady Hinata?" he demanded, Hinata crying behind her hands.

"I uh," Naruto started but soon Ino, Sakura and Temari were also gathered around him, Ten Ten patting Hinata on the back to hush her.

"You're going to pay for that, Naruto…" Ino said, making fists.

* * *

Kiba and Chouji were wandering around as the night grew on and they came across a mass of something bloody in the middle of the street, flies all over the place.

"I-Is that Naruto?"

"And so ends the legacy… Looks like he's a goner…" Kiba said, holding a hand to his heart and sighing.

"W-What did I say?" Naruto asked weakly.

* * *

**- Word of advice, never tell a girl what color she looks good in, even if you meant it only as a passing word. Heh, I really just felt like Naruto needed to be hit hard for his, and Hinata didn't strike me as the type who would do it. Thanks for reading everything so far.**

**Invader Hog**


	6. KibaTemari

**Ten Thins Shinobi Should Never Say the First Date**

**Summary: A list of things a shinobi should never say to the woman of his dreams on the first date.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

**A/N: Heh, I really don't support this pairing either, but I had a really fun idea, so this is it. Thanks for reading.**

**Kiba/Temari **

**Ten Things You Should Never Say on the First Date:**

6. Did you know that your makeup makes your face look fat?

* * *

Kiba Inuzuka wasn't a playboy, but he liked to have his options open. Dating was for everyone and it was nice to think that he had a date after a long mission in the Sand country. Temari of the Sand happened to be his date for the evening and they were just going to dinner, and that was enough for Kiba to know that it was a nice date.

He was inside the Yamanaka Flower Shop, looking at a large display of roses, an eye searching for a bouquet that was within his price range.

"Kiba? Are you here for flowers?" Ino Yamanaka asked, walking over to him. She usually worked in the store when she had nothing better to do, and recently it was getting a lot of business since many men, including Shino, Naruto and Neji, were trying to constantly apologize with bouquets to certain girls.

That was great for the Yamanaka business, Ino liked helping these poor gentlemen out.

"Yeah, I'm taking Temari out for the night, since we've been on a mission and all," Kiba said, seeming to have decided to go with a single rose. Ino rung it up and giggled as he walked out of the shop, almost to run directly into Temari outside.

"Oh! Is that for me?" Temari asked, smiling up at Kiba and he blushed a little.

"Y-Yeah, I just got it for you," Kiba said, handing her the rose and she took it lovingly.

"Thank you," Temari said, blushing slightly as she smelled the sweet fragrance of the rose. She was dressed a little cute that evening, deciding that she would wear a light purple sleeveless dress with a see-through light purple jacket and her hair down. She had spent a while on her makeup though, trying to find a good color of eye shadow to match her outfit and shoes, but it took a while.

"Ready to go?" Temari asked, smiling up at Kiba and suddenly Kiba didn't know what to say as he stared at Temari's eyes. They were green and they didn't actually look very good surrounded by purple. It made her face look bigger than it really was.

"Did you know that your makeup makes your face look fat?" Kiba said, pointing at Temari's nose, and she blinked.

"What?"

"Yeah, you look fat."

If there was ever something a boy should never ever, under no circumstances, ever say, was that a girl was fat, no matter if it was true or not. Kiba turned his head to the sky, thinking about what color would look best on Temari when she poked his shoulder.

"Oh, Kiba…"

* * *

Ino Yamanaka walked out the door of her family's shop, locking it as she went, but someone was lying in front of the shop.

"Holy! Kiba! Are you okay? You're bleeding! And there's a rose stuffed up your nose! KIBA!"

* * *

-**Heh, I'm sorry if you are a Kiba fan and cried to find he had a rose stuck up his nose, but I wanted Temari to pumble him good. OMG! I got like 40 notices of people who put either me or this story on alert so they could read it! I'm so touched, thank you everyone who did. And thank you for everyone who reviewed, you are so cool. I love you guys!**

**Invader Hog**


	7. ChoujiIno

**Ten Things a Shinobi Should Never Say on the First Date**

**Summary: Ten things a shinobi should never tell the woman of his dreams on their first date.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

**A/N: Been a while. I am going to try and finish this as soon as possible. And I don't agree with this pairing either, but I thought that beating up on Chouji might be fun. J/K! I love you CHOUJI!**

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**Chouji/Ino**

**Ten Things Never to Say on the First Date:**

7. No wonder you don't have a boyfriend.

* * *

Shikamaru stood over his friend, watching him nervously twist the bouquet of flowers in his hands.

"I don't really see how giving someone flowers who runs a flower shop really seems romantic," Chouji said as he looked up to see his friend grinning at him.

"Calm down Chouji. Ino will like them. You should be grateful she even agreed to go out on a date with you, usually she would just go on a tangent about how she needs Sasuke and whatever…"

"I know, but suddenly I'm really nervous, what if I say something stupid?" Chouji asked, looking at the bundle of purple lilies.

"Trust me, Chouji. You can't possible screw this up."

"Chouji!" came a call. Shikamaru and Chouji looked down the road to see Ino standing with Sakura, dressed in a beautiful purple sundress and an orange sash.

"I-Ino!" Chouji said, standing up and waving a little, blushing. He was so nervous. Shikamaru laughed and slapped Chouji on the back and he started to walk towards Ino as Sakura waved her goodbye.

"H-Here," Chouji said, blushing and holding out the flowers at arms length. Ino blushed and smiled.

"Thank you, Chouji, they're beautiful," she said, taking the flowers and smiling at them.

"Y-You're welcome…"

"But you know, you should be more careful, Chouji. The poor flowers are being chocked with how you've wrapped them, they are unable to breathe…" Ino began to go on and on about flowers suddenly, and Chouji blushed, confused.

How was he supposed to follow everything she was saying when she was talking so fast? He wondered how Shikamaru even managed to do it. Silently Chouji waited for Ino to finish, but sure enough, she was on a rant about everything, how Naruto was an idiot for not inviting her to go each lunch with her, Shino was a jerk because he bumped into her and did not apologize, Hinata was so cute when she was trying to not stutter, Sakura was annoying because she wouldn't buy Ino something at a store…

Chouji became so confused so quick that he let it slip.

"No wonder you don't have a boyfriend."

Chouji paled as he covered his mouth, as Ino stopped mid sentence. She turned to look at him, his skin crawling under her dark stare.

"What did you say?" she asked, but it sounded more like command.

"N-Nothing…" Chouji squeaked.

Shikamaru was just walking away from Ino and Chouji when he heard a loud yelp and turned around to see someone fall over. He hurried back to see Ino storming off and Chouji choking on the flowers he had given her.

"Chouji! Are you okay? CHOUJI!"

* * *

-**heh, sorry Chouji. I didn't want to hurt poor Shikamaru (he was orignally supposed to be on the date) but I thought he woulnd't be _that _stupid to say something like that... Anyway, hope you enjoyed this! Thanks for reading!**

**Invader Hog**


	8. ShikaSakura

**Ten Things A Shinobi Should Never Say On the First Date**

**Summary: Ten things a shinobi should never tell the woman of his dreams on the first date.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

**A/N: Thanks for reviewing, a dude said that it was harsh and something like that happened to him. Ouch. Thanks again, and I hope you enjoy another installment. (I'm waiting for a download so I might as well do something productive.)**

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**Shikamaru/Sakura**

_(only because I think it's annoying how people seem to pair them together!)_

**Ten Things to Never Say on a First Date:**

8. Are you _always _this boring?

* * *

Sakura Haruno had approached Shikamaru Nara that evening to ask him to dinner only because she did not want to be alone and he was a gentleman, or so she thought. Shikamaru had considered Sakura his date, so he was nice in every way he could possibly be. He arrived at her house, picked her up and said hello to her parents.

They were just excited to know that Sakura wasn't still after Sasuke, but then again, they were entirely mistaken. Shikamaru did not mind being a sort of replacement for Sasuke, as long as he didn't have to do anything.

It was then that Shikamaru and Sakura went out on their journey towards dinner that the real trouble seemed to have come from. Shikamaru had stopped in front of Ino's store to buy a rose, a gift for Sakura to go with her dress. Sakura thanked Shikamaru for the gift, but then suddenly went into an extremely long sulk about Sasuke.

"He was so sweet before he left. I mean he really didn't look at me very often and he was extremely rude," Sakura began, and all the way to the resturaunt she was talking basically about how she felt abandoned by Sasuke.

Shikamaru only endured it, mostly because he was expecting to actually be done with the topic of Sasuke by the time they got their food. However, it seemed that Sakura could think of nothing else. She went on and on and eventually Shikamaru felt like he could dose off any second.

"And then I told him-"

"Sakura, take a breath."

"Yeah… okay… but-"

Shikamaru hadn't meant it to be rude. Seriously, he was a little sick and tired of hearing about the same crap over and over. Ino went through her Sasuke phase too, but she moved on pretty quick, and Shikamaru was a little glad of that too. Now sitting in front of him was the atomic bomb of boring.

"Are you _always _this boring?" Shikamaru asked, sighing a little and reaching down for his chopsticks.

* * *

Later that evening, a store manager was throwing out some old noodles when he found a body bleeding near a trashcan.

"Hello? Sir? Are you alright? Oh no! He's bleeding everywhere! Call a medic! There's rose poking out of his ear!"

* * *

**- Heh, it's 12:00 am and classes got cancelled for tomorrow due to our "record breaking snow fall!" In all reality, it's Texas so four inches was record-breaking! I can't beleive it... oh well, glad I could post this! Thanks for reading!**

**Invader Hog**


	9. ChoujiTemari

**Ten Things a Shinobi Should Never Say the First Date**

**Summary: Ten things a shinobi should never tell the woman of his dreams on their first date.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

**A/N: I am neck-deep in midterms, but I was thinking about this in class, so I decided to do it. Pairing actually one of my first favorites before I discovered I like Shino and Temari together.**

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**Chouji/Temari**

**Ten Things Never to Say on the First Date:**

9. "If you don't be careful, you could gain even _more _weight."

* * *

Temari, Ino and Hinata happened to be sitting on a park bench one afternoon when Naruto and Chouji passed by. During the conversation, Ino found it a point to tell Temari that Chouji and her should go on a date. How it happened to get to that point, is still uncertain, but Temari was actually intrigued by the notion. Chouji, confused as to what had happened, was forced by Naruto to ask Temari out on a date in the traditional way: in the form of a question.

Temari agreed and it was set that they would meet in front of his favorite Korean BBQ place the following evening. Soon the party dispersed and the following evening quickly approached.

* * *

Chouji wore his normal clothes, and was sweet enough to buy a long-stemmed rose for Temari when he would meet her at the restaurant. Temari had gotten a little more dressed up for the date, wearing a beautiful purple dress and her hair let down. Chouji complemented her and couldn't help but blush as she thanked him and smiled as they entered the restaurant.

The evening seemed to be going well, at least, it seemed to be. It wasn't until it came time to order that the real problems arose. Temari had been rather hungry, being forced to skip lunch to go to a meeting with her brother and the Hokage.

The BBQ seemed plentiful and since Chouji was going to pay for it all, Temari helped herself. She ordered three full plates of Korean barbecue and was excited to see it brought out. Normally Chouji would have eaten almost twice as much at Ino and Shikamaru's expense, but he retrained himself. He was rather surprised to see how hungry Temari was.

"Are you going to eat all of that?" he asked, smiling.

"Of course, I had to skip lunch today. It all seems so good," Temari said as she dove in. Chouji should have known better to any further comment, but he was rather an idiot in the company of such a lovely lady as Temari.

"If you don't be careful, you could gain even _more _weight." He said, though it did not sound much like a joke to Temari.

* * *

Children, if these stories have not taught you one thing, at least let it be known, never, under any circumstances, tell a woman she is fat. Seriously, that is a dark path to follow.

Chouji was less fortunate to get such advice and soon found himself being thrown out of the BBQ and passed out on the street. Naruto happened to be passing by at the time and saw his poor friend sprawled out, unconscious.

"Chouji! Oi! What happened? Dude! You're like bleeding! Help! Chouji is gonna die! NOOO!!!"

* * *

-**Listen to my words, little ones... "fat" is not a good word... seriously... it is a dangerous word around a woman... not kidding Timmy, it can hurt, well you more than her. Violence is the answer to all life's problems... well, actually not really... but oh well. Here is violence anyway! One more to go!**

**Invader Hog**


	10. ShikaIno

**Ten Things a Shinobi Should Never Say the First Date**

**Summary: The final installment of the Ten Things List of all the things Shinobi Should Never Say on the First Date. Thank you for reading!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

**A/N: Final installment. At the end I will review all the phrases, so you can take notes if you need to (lol) thanks for reading. My favorite absolute favorite Naruto paring!**

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**Shikamaru/Ino**

**Ten Things to Never Say on the First Date:**

10. "You should _never _wear that dress _ever _again."

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Shikamaru Nara was finally able to convince Ino Yamanaka that they should go on a date. It took a lot of effort to get her to agree, like he had to actually get up off his lazy ass and actually go up and talk to her. Of course Ino agreed and was excited, since she hadn't been on a date in a while was glad to go out.

The pair would meet in the park and then head out to dinner after that. Shikamaru felt it was his duty as the gentleman to get something for Ino, but since she already owned a flower shop, it seemed silly to get her flowers, so he decided chocolates instead. His father was rather impressed with his genius son and slapped him on the back the night of the date.

Ino was late, having forgotten where she left her nice shoes, but Shikamaru didn't seem to mind, until she actually arrived. The dress Ino had decided to get herself was a very short red dress that was tight fitting and had one sleeve. She looked beautiful, but the dress was a distraction. Shikamaru felt himself blush, as he couldn't help but look down as he spoke to her.

"G-Good evening," he managed, Ino smiling and taking the chocolate he shoved into her hands, trying to look away. Ino didn't seem to notice how strange he was acting and only worsened the problem by getting closer, trying to get Shikamaru to look at her.

"Shikamaru? What's wrong?"

"Uh…" he was now looking right down the dress, and hadn't meant to. She looked back at him with one eye as the other was hidden behind her long blonde hair and he swallowed quickly.

"Shikamaru?" Ino asked again, putting a slender hand to his head and he felt her pressing against him and he blushed even more. The dress was making him nervous, Ino wasn't. She had always been so beautiful, but now she looked it even more, it was kind of scary. So of course the intelligent Shikamaru Nara voiced his plea for her to never wear the dress again. However, the manner on which he voiced this opinion sounded like an insult.

"You should _never _wear that dress _ever _again."

Ino went quiet and he seemed to notice that he was in trouble. It was one swift blow and he was tumbling over the park bench, Ino yelling and ranting as she stormed off. It was not an hour later before Kiba discovered him, whom had asked was he was sleeping in the bushes and if his head was all right, since it looked like he was bleeding.

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- **And so ends the list. The overall list will be posted as a sort of epilogue, so you can take the nessecary notes. Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! .**

**Invader Hog**


	11. the List

**Ten Things A Shinobi Should Never Say on the First Date**

**The List:**

1. "You decided to wear _that _on our first date?"- Shino/Temari

2. "Are you wearing a black bra?"- Sakura/Lee

3. "You're going to eat all of that?"- Sasuke/Ino

4. "That's not how my last girlfriend acted."- Neji/TenTen

5. "Pink is not your color, at all."- Naruto/Hinata

6. "Did you know your makeup makes your face look fat?"- Kiba/Temari

7. "No wonder you don't have a boyfriend"- Chouji/Ino

8. "Are you _always _this boring?"- Shikamaru/Sakura

9. "If you don't be careful, you could gain even _more _weight."- Chouji/Temari

10. "You should _never _wear that dress _ever_ again."- Shikamaru/Ino

**Thank you for reading, hope you liked watching the boys get their asses kicked.**

**Invader Hog**


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